I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
