New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
