i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
