ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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