you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
