oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
