News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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