U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
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he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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