I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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