It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
These tits shall not be calmed
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
