Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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