wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Enjoy the penises
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
