Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
