butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
