it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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