You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
