I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We are two peas in an std pod
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
