Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
