I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
