spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
