I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
