what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
