am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
