Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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