found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
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There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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