I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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