tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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