Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
