It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
