She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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