Got a toothbrush?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
