who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
