I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
They took my balls.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
