Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize