When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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