I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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