If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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