Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
