then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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