Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
