i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
