he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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