so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
