There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
