You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
