I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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