Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize