He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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