you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
