I cockslap morals
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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