end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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