I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I love you. Go after that dick
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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