Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just high enough for therapy.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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