shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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