I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
