Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
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