Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
