i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
