Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Help. Why am I so naked?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
