Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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